Haunted house

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Haunted house

Haunted house

Dare you enter the Haunted House? Can you find the things you need for your magic spell?

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    Haunted House - Uncyclopedia

    From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

    Haunted houses are a blight on the landscape, because nothing blossoms or flourishes in the yards that surround them: the grass is sparse, trees are stunted and twisted, and no animals dare to set foot (or paw) on the premises unless they are rabid, wild, or possessed by the spooks and demons that haunt the property.

    The house itself may be in bad repair, with sagging porch, missing roof tiles, detached or absent shutters, and crooked doorways and broken windows. Sometimes, the house has halitosis or flatulence that smells like brimstone, and cases of psoriasis and eczema are not altogether unknown, especially in arid climates. If male. the house is apt to experience erectile dysfunction or suffer from impotence ; if female. it will almost certainly be a nymphomaniac.

    Even the weather is affected by the haunted house. Thick fog clings to the dead earth. especially if the property boasts its own cemetery, and a black cloud hangs over the troubled edifice. Thunderstorms are frequent, especially when threats to residents are imminent and, due to a limited budget, more sophicticated and expensive special effects cannot be afforded.

    edit Natural Explanations

    Although the reality of haunted houses. like the reality of ghosts and demons (and mothers-in-law) is questionable and many apparently paranormal or supernatural phenomena may have natural causes, those who want to believe that they live in a haunted house will be likely to do so. Hearing noises late at night when one is alone in a house may lead one to imagine all sorts of horrible and otherworldly causes of these noises when, in fact, they might be caused by nothing more paranormal or supernatural than the settling of the house, a draft, or animals on the roof or in the walls or attic.

    Likewise, hallucinations and the misinterpretation of objects observed in dim light may prompt the observer to believe that he or she has seen a ghost when all that was observed was a shadow. a light, or a reflection. Some cold spots in houses are produced by drafts in walls or air currents that are set in motion by extraction fans.

    A personal item that vanished from one location only to reappear somewhere else can be explained by a faulty memory. Everyone has misplaced something at one time or another, so neither ghosts nor demons need to be posited as the cause of such an incident.

    Monsters can also move stuff around. And bogeymen.

    edit Photographic Evidence

    Those who believe often seek photographic, auditory, or other objective evidence for the sights and sounds that they claim to see and hear. They tape record wild laughter. strange whispers, shrieks, and shouts, all of which are easily duplicated by living, breathing people. They photograph lights or ghostly figures, which are also easily faked. Sometimes, they use scientific instruments that may prove that there is electromagnetic energy present in a house but that does not prove that ghosts or demons are also present or are causing the energy. Poltergeist activity also can be duplicated by amateur magicians or other ordinary people and does not indicate the existence or presence of otherworldy beings.

    edit Ghost?

    The photograph shown here was submitted to the International Society for Paranormal Research to substantiate claims that a house was haunted. However, cartoonists have debunked the image, claiming that it is a painted sketch of a Harvey Comics character, Casper the Friendly Ghost, composed of dialogue balloons joined together to represent a head and sheet-covered body. Eyebrows, eyes. a nose. and a mouth were drawn on the upper dialogue balloon to give it a face and a "personality ," and the so-called ghost was show holding a "cute, cuddly animal" to indicate the ghost's friendliness. "There's no reason to believe that this picture proves there's any such thing as a ghost any more than it proves there's such a creature as a fox," a spokesperson for Skeptics Against Spooks concludes. "I could make a better, more convincing painting myself."

    edit Demon?

    Another image was even easier to explain. It shows what appears to be a toddler in the throes of a temper tantrum, with small dark clouds of smoke hovering above him, the results, perhaps of the fire that issues from his mouth. He wears a diaper, from the rear of which extends a tail that ends in an arrowhead shape.

    The skeptical magician who bills himself to a gullible public as The Amazing Randi says, "It's just what it appears to be--a toddler dressed in a demon costume, having a temper tantrum, possibly because he has a bad case of diaper rash." Asked about the fire and smoke, the skeptical magician said, "A flammable fluid was poured into the baby 's mouth and lit when he spewed out the liquid; the smoke is a result of the toddler's fiery breath." And the tail? "Sewn on by a rather incompetent seamstress," the skeptical magician suggested.

    edit Literary Haunted Houses

    Many writers. past and present, have written haunted house stories, some as novels and others as short stories. Many movies have also been made concerning haunted houses, some of which are based on novels or short stories about haunted houses. The literary world, like those of the other arts, is as cannibalistic as it is incestuous.

    edit Novels and Short Stories

    Some of the better known stories and their authors include:

    • "The Fall of the House of Usher" by Edgar Allan Poe. Madeline Usher returns from the dead to put an end to her murderous, twisted twin brother Roderick, with whom she had sex both when she was alive and after she died, jealous that Roderick's male friend is now the one reading Roderick "bedtime stories" .
    • The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. Four psychos psychics stay as guests in a supposedly haunted house, one of whom, sexually-repressed Eleanor, falls in love with the mansion, refusing to leave even after it's pretty clear that the place really is haunted. When she is forced to leave, she (or her ghostly paramour) wrecks the car, and she, dying in the crash, becomes a ghost herself, living happily ever after as she engages in necrophilia with her invisible, but ardent, lover.
    • The Turn of the Screw by Henry James. A pedophiliac governess blames "ghosts" for molesting her young charges, a tactic that actual pedophiles continue to use in cases in which they plead "innocent by reason of insanity ."
    • The Shining by Stephen King. A drunk believes he's dead when he gives up alcohol in favor of delirium tremens; he also thinks he's writing a book called The Shining by Stephen King about a drunk who believes he's dead when he gives up alcohol in favor of delirium tremens.
    • The House by Bentley Little: Five strangers must share a single bathroom .
    edit Movies

    Many movies also tell the stories of haunted houses and the haunts who haunt them:

    • Rose Red by Stephen King: a ripoff of The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson (which see, above).
    • The Amityville Horror (series), based on the book by Jay Anson: Ghosts and demons haunt a lovely, unsuspecting Colonial Dutch house on New York 's Long Island ; families break up; people die; even the furniture and brick-a-brac are evil and out to get the house's occupants.
    • Paranormal Activity. This, like, chick and this douche move into a house and she's all 'This ghost or whatever is following me' and he's all 'Cool, I want to film it and shit'. Then this ghost scientist tells them it's a demon, which is like ten times worse, 'cos demons all just want to fuck with your head, you know? So this demon just starts by slamming doors and making lamps wobble and shit, then he gets majorly pissed off with them and drags the girl out of bed and bites her and she's all screaming and shit and then he goes away. I don't know the next bit, 'cos the pizza guy arrived and I went to pay it - even though Stevey was meant to pay but he won't pay for shit, you know? - anyway I came back in and he's all 'where's my pepperoni, and I'm all 'Fuck you, man', so I missed a little bit of the story. Then it ended and I won't tell you ending, but it'll blow your mind, man! You know what? It's a totally true story that they, like, try to make out was fake, so that, like, people don't totally freak out and shit. But my bro's cousin has this bud who knows someone on the San Diego police force and he, like, totally told him that all the freaky shit really went down, man.
    edit Actual Instances
    • The White House (haunted by the drunken ghost of Richard M. Nixon and his little dog Checkers)
    • Monticello, Thomas Jefferson 's residence (haunted by his hot black daughter, Sally Hemings)
    • Tara (haunted by Scarlett O'Hara 's memory of her departed squeeze, Rhett Butler)
    • House of Windsor (haunted by Prince Charles who is waiting, waiting. )

    Haunted house

    Haunted house

    A haunted house is defined as a house that is believed to be a center for supernatural occurrences or paranormal phenomena. [http://parapsych.org/glossary_e_k.html#h Parapsychological Association website, Glossary of Key Words Frequently Used in Parapsychology, Retrieved February 10. 2007 ] A haunted house may allegedly contain ghost s, poltergeist s, or even malevolent entities such as demon s.

    Haunted houses are often regarded as being inhabited by spirit s of deceased who may have been former residents or were familiar with the property. Supernatural activity inside homes is said to be mainly associated with violent or tragic events in the building's past such as murder, accidental death, or suicide — sometimes in the recent or ancient past. Amongst many cultures and religion s it is believed that the essence of a being such as the ' soul ' continues to exist. Some philosophical and religious views argue that the 'spirits' of those who have died have not 'passed over' and are trapped inside the property where their memories and energy is strong.Fact|date=July 2008 Entities which are said to 'haunt' homes are often believed to make noises, appear as apparition s, and shift or launch physical objects. This is sometimes manifested into 'poltergeist activity'; poltergeist meaning 'noisy spirit'. Traditionally an exorcism is the method used to remove unwelcome spirits from the property.

    Legend s about haunted houses have long appeared in literature. Haunting is used as a plot device in gothic or horror fiction or, more lately, paranormal-based fiction. Roman-era authors Plautus. Pliny the Younger. and Lucian wrote stories about haunted houses, and more modern authors from Henry James to Stephen King have featured them in their writings. Haunted castles and mansions are common in gothic literature such as Dracula .

    The actual structure of a fictional haunted house can be anything from a decaying European feudal castle to a newly occupied suburb an ranch-style house of fairly recent construction, although older buildings tend to be more commonly used.

    Haunted attractions

    A haunted house may also refer to an interactive haunted house which is usually open around the season of Halloween for entertainment purposes. The attraction is usually decorated with spiderwebs, bones, and other relics traditionally associated with haunted houses. Guests are led through the structure and are exposed to eerie sights and sounds. Volunteers, hiding within the house, often appear and frighten the guests.

    Legal aspects

    In " Stambovsky v. Ackley ", the Supreme Court of New York, Appellate Division ruled that a seller must disclose that a house has a reputation for being haunted when there is a fiduciary relationship or in cases of fraud or misrepresentation, [cite web| last = Knauf | first = Allan| title = After New York's Property Condition Disclosure Act | url = http://www.nyenvlaw.com/Caveat_Emptor.htm | accessdate = 2007-02-15 ] because such a reputation impairs the value of the house::In the case at bar, defendant seller deliberately fostered the public belief that her home was possessed. Having undertaken to inform the public at large, to whom she has no legal relationship, about the supernatural occurrences on her property, she may be said to owe no less a duty to her contract vendee. ["Stambovsky v. Ackley", 169 A.D.2d 254, 260, 572 N.Y.S.2d 672N.Y.A.D. 1 Dept. 1991. ]

    Carbon monoxide

    Some of the phenomena generally associated with haunted houses, including strange visions and sounds, feelings of dread, illness, and the sudden, apparently inexplicable death of all the occupants, can be attributed to carbon monoxide poisoning. [ [http://www.ghostvillage.com/resources/2004/resources_10312004.shtml A True Tale Of A Truly Haunted House by Albert Donnay ] ] Symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning include listlessness, depression. dementia. emotional disturbances, and hallucination s.Fact|date=July 2008

    In one famous case, carbon monoxide poisoning was clearly identified as the cause of an alleged haunting. Dr. William Wilmer, an ophthalmologist. described the experiences of one of his patients in a 1921 article published in the American Journal of Ophthalmology. "Mr. and Mrs. H." moved into a new home, but soon began to complain of headaches and listlessness. They began to hear bells and footsteps during the night, soon accompanied by strange physical sensations and mysterious figures. When they began to investigate, they found the previous residents had experienced similar symptoms. Upon examination, their furnace was found to be severely damaged, resulting in incomplete combustion and forcing most of the fumes into the house rather than up the chimney. ["A true tale of a truly haunted house", by Albert Denay. www.ghostvillage.com. Includes text of 1921 Journal of Ophthalmology article. [http://www.ghostvillage.com/resources/2004/resources_10312004.shtml ] ] After the stove was fixed, the family fully recovered and did not experience any further unusual events.

    A report published in 2005 described a 23-year-old female victim of carbon monoxide poisoning, found delirious and hyperventilating. who claimed to have seen a ghost while in the shower. A new gas water heater had just been installed in her home, apparently improperly, which flooded the house with carbon monoxide when the victim closed all the exterior windows and doors and took a shower. [Jiann-Ruey Ong, Sheng-Wen Hou, Hsien-Tsung Shu, Huei-Tsair Chen, and Chee-Fah Chong. Diagnostic pitfall: carbon monoxide poisoning mimicking hyperventilation syndrome. "The American Journal of Emergency MedicineVolume 23, Issue 7, November 2005, Pages 903-904 ]

    Carbon monoxide is the leading cause of accidental poisoning deaths in North America. ["Carbon Monoxide." Canada Safety Council. " ] ["A true tale of a truly haunted house", by Albert Denay. www.ghostvillage.com. Includes text of 1921 Journal of Ophthalmology article. [http://www.ghostvillage.com/resources/2004/resources_10312004.shtml ] ]

    hort stories and novels

    * " The Castle of Otranto " (1764) by Horace Walpole

    * " The Mysteries of Udolpho " (1794) by Ann Radcliffe

    * " The Fall of the House of Usher " (1845) by Edgar Allan Poe

    * "The Haunted and the Haunters" (1857) by Edward Bulwer-Lytton

    * " The Turn of the Screw " (1898) by Henry James

    * "The House That Was" (1907) by Jacques Futrelle

    * " The House on the Borderland " (1908) by William Hope Hodgson

    * " The Beckoning Fair One " (1911) by Oliver Onions

    * " The Rats in the Walls " (1924) by H. P. Lovecraft

    * " The Cat Creeps " (1930)

    * " Hold That Ghost " (1941)

    * "The Uninvited" (1944)

    A Haunted House by Virginia Woolf

    A Haunted House

    WHATEVER HOUR you woke there was a door shutting. From room to room they went, hand in hand, lifting here, opening there, making sure­a ghostly couple.

    "Here we left it," she said. And he added, "Oh, but here too!" "It's upstairs," she murmured. "And in the garden," he whispered. "Quietly," they said, "or we shall wake them."

    But it wasn't that you woke us. Oh, no. "They're looking for it; they're drawing the curtain," one might say, and so read on a page or two. "Now they've found it, " one would be certain, stopping the pencil on the margin. And then, tired of reading, one might rise and see for oneself, the house all empty, the doors standing open, only the wood pigeons bubbling with content and the hum of the threshing machine sounding from the farm. "What did I come in here for? What did I want to find?" My hands were empty. "Perhaps it's upstairs then?" The apples were in the loft. And so down again, the garden still as ever, only the book had slipped into the grass.

    But they had found it in the drawing room. Not that one could ever see them. The window panes reflected apples, reflected roses; all the leaves were green in the glass. If they moved in the drawing room, the apple only turned its yellow side. Yet, the moment after, if the door was opened, spread about the floor, hung upon the walls, pendant from the ceiling­what? My hands were empty. The shadow of a thrush crossed the carpet; from the deepest wells of silence the wood pigeon drew its bubble of sound. "Safe, safe, safe" the pulse of the house beat softly. "The treasure buried; the room. " the pulse stopped short. Oh, was that the buried treasure?

    A moment later the light had faded. Out in the garden then? But the trees spun darkness for a wandering beam of sun. So fine, so rare, coolly sunk beneath the surface the beam I sought always burnt behind the glass. Death was the glass; death was between us; coming to the woman first, hundreds of years ago, leaving the house, sealing all the windows; the rooms were darkened. He left it, left her, went North, went East, saw the stars turned in the Southern sky; sought the house, found it dropped beneath the Downs. "Safe, safe, safe," the pulse of the house beat gladly. "The Treasure yours."

    The wind roars up the avenue. Trees stoop and bend this way and that. Moonbeams splash and spill wildly in the rain. But the beam of the lamp falls straight from the window. The candle burns stiff and still. Wandering through the house, opening the windows, whispering not to wake us, the ghostly couple seek their joy.

    "Here we slept," she says. And he adds, "Kisses without number." "Waking in the morning­" "Silver between the trees­" "Upstairs­" "In the garden­" "When summer came­" "In winter snowtime­" "The doors go shutting far in the distance, gently knocking like the pulse of a heart.

    Nearer they come, cease at the doorway. The wind falls, the rain slides silver down the glass. Our eyes darken, we hear no steps beside us; we see no lady spread her ghostly cloak. His hands shield the lantern. "Look," he breathes. "Sound asleep. Love upon their lips."

    Stooping, holding their silver lamp above us, long they look and deeply. Long they pause. The wind drives straightly; the flame stoops slightly. Wild beams of moonlight cross both floor and wall, and, meeting, stain the faces bent; the faces pondering; the faces that search the sleepers and seek their hidden joy.

    "Safe, safe, safe," the heart of the house beats proudly. "Long years­" he sighs. "Again you found me." "Here," she murmurs, "sleeping; in the garden reading; laughing, rolling apples in the loft. Here we left our treasure­" Stooping, their light lifts the lids upon my eyes. "Safe! safe! safe!" the pulse of the house beats wildly. Waking, I cry "Oh, is this your buried treasure? The light in the heart."

    Смотреть онлайн Дом с паранормальными явлениями

    Отличная пародия! Конечно, не шедевр, но я ещё не видел ни одной такой пародии, которой поставил бы высший балл. В пародии, которую я считаю самой лучшей, в своё время снимался тот же актёр, который снялся в главной роли в данном фильме. Это Марлон Уэйнс, и сейчас ему уже 40 лет! Но, глядя на него, ему не дашь и 30. Да-да, тот самый Мелкий из любимого нами "Очень страшного кино". Лучшей кинопародии, чем тот фильм, я ещё не видел. "Дом с паранормальными явлениями" не дотягивает до него, но по-своему очень хорош.

    По названию понятно, что этот фильм пародирует знаменитый мистический фильм ужасов "Паранормальное явление". Фильм, в котором близко нет никаких спецэффектов, снят в обычной квартире, но потряс множество любителей ужастиков, напугав их до полусмерти. В 2012-2013 годах пошла мода пародировать этот фильм: вышло целых три пародии на трилогию "Паранормального явления". Две из них показывали в кинотеатрах, третья вышла сразу на видео, поскольку является малобюджетной и трешовой. "Дом с паранормальными явлениями" шёл в кинотеатрах, так же на большом экране показывали долгожданное "Очень страшное кино 5", которое получило разгромные отзывы даже от фанатов серии. Его я пока не смотрел, но собираюсь. Фильм, который можно назвать подделкой под эти две пародии, обладает интересным названием "30 ночей паранормального явления с одержимой девушкой с татуировкой дракона", где, кроме "паранормалки", пародировали ещё множество фильмов, которые были спародированы и в двух "продвинутых" пародиях.

    "Паранормальное явление" я смотрел, видел первые три части, четвёртую не видел. Вообще я лояльно отношусь к малобюджетным фильмам, поэтому меня не возмутило то, что фильм предельно дёшево снят, он мне показался просто скучноватым. Но, тем не менее, его стоило посмотреть, поскольку фильм ещё и жутковат, особенно его развязка. То есть, с задачей напугать, фильм справился. Узнав о выходе пародий на этот фильм, я подумал: "Зачем это пародировать? Пародия будет такая же дешёвая, как оригинал", но я ошибался. Да, пародию тоже снимали в обычной квартире, но оказывается, как же смешно можно представить активность духов по ночам! Смеялся в основном над сценами, где показаны ночи, особенно самая первая ночь. Как и в пародии с длинным названием, но там смешного было меньше, и в целом показан натуральный дурдом.

    Только, ближе к концу, фильм скатился в непонятно что. И я так говорю, не потому что не смотрел "Одержимую", которую пародировали в финальных сценах, а потому что было просто тупо. Когда я первый раз смотрел первое "Очень страшное кино", я не был знаком с оригиналами, но смеялся до слёз. Здесь же пародировали ещё "Охотников за привидениями", и тоже не впечатлило. Кстати, эти же два фильма пародировали в "30 ночах. ", и так же тупо. По-настоящему смешными были в основном сцены с ночами. Ну и игра Марлона Уэйнса, как всегда, радует.

    В фильме множество шуток на тему секса, поэтому смотреть стоит только любителям откровенного юмора. В целом фильм весьма интересный и забавный. Качественная пародия. Понравилась столько же, сколько оригинал. 7 из 10.

    Haunted house - The Full Wiki

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    This box: view • talk • edit

    A haunted house is defined as a house that is believed to be a center for supernatural occurrences or paranormal phenomena. [ 1 ] A haunted house may allegedly contain ghosts. poltergeists. or even malevolent entities such as demons .

    Haunted houses are often perceived as being inhabited by disembodied spirits of the deceased who may have been former residents or were familiar with the property. Supernatural activity inside homes is said to be mainly associated with violent or tragic events in the building's past such as murder, accidental death, or suicide .

    In 2005, Gallup polls conducted in three countries—the United States, Canada, and Great Britain—showed that more people believe in haunted houses than any of the other paranormal items tested, with 37% of Americans, 28% of Canadians, and 40% of Britons believing. [ 2 ] [ 3 ]

    As expressed by the National Science Foundation. the scientific consensus has identified ten subjects, including haunted houses, and considers that belief in those subjects is pseudoscientific. [ 4 ]

    Haunted House - TV Tropes

    Haunted House

    "It was an evil house from the beginning — a house that was born bad ."

    A spooky house. A staple of Horror. Where Haunted Castles would appear in European tales, the Haunted House takes its place in American stories. It is commonly associated with bumps in the night, strange lights, and a shady history involving violence and terror.

    It might be a ramshackle abandoned shack standing alone. Or a Big Fancy House maintained by a Creepy Housekeeper. Or a typical suburban home built on an Indian Burial Ground. Or has a preturbed poltergeist with Unfinished Business using it as a personal Psychological Torment Zone. It has a distressing tendency of killing its way through a family receiving it as an Unexpected Inheritance. and if it gets a sufficiently sordid reputation it will be chronicled by a Haunted House Historian who tries to warn new would-be victims- who of course read it as a travel guide.

    When you enter, the "wind" closes the door behind you- and likely will not reopen until its time for the next set of schmucks to take the bait. Creepy portraits may adorn the walls and the eyes may literally follow your every move. There are probably cobwebs everywhere, draped over the ever-changing portraits. The Ominous Pipe Organ may start playing Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor all on its own. Mirrors reflect things that aren't there. when they aren't all broken. There will probably be at least a couple Bookcase Passages and Booby Traps.

    Many haunted houses as depicted in film and TV (particularly vintage productions), and in videogames, tend to be Bigger on the Inside. with seemingly endless corridors and remote areas and rooms that seem incongruous with exterior views of the building. Sometimes it's simply because Artists Are Not Architects. but frequently there is an implication that the haunted house is a form of Eldritch Location. a Mobile Maze in a Negative Space Wedgie. If you find yourself in one of these, expect Endless Corridors and Scooby-Dooby Doors to be the least of your problems. In particularly bad cases, as the house gathers more life force and fear energy expect increasing levels of Bizarrchitecture and Malevolent Architecture. particularly if you're getting closer to figuring out how to get out or appoaching the heart of the house. In the core of these places expect to find blatant Alien Geometry. or possibly even a full blown Psychological Torment Zone.

    Compare Haunted Headquarters. which is any haunted primary setting, and Old Dark House. which may or may not have a supernatural element. Big Boo's Haunt is this trope in video games. Will often end up invoking Never Recycle a Building. for good reason.

    Дом с паранормальными явлениями

    Дом с паранормальными явлениями

    Уморительная история.

    Ошеломлённая и эмоциональная игра актёров.

    Привет братья Уайнс, и привет «Не грози Южному централу, попивая сок у себя в квартале».

    Эти ребята, своим юмором покорили сердца миллионов, и теперь, столько лет спустя они снова взялись за дело!

    В фильме использованы великолепные спецэффекты, заставляющие поверить публику в реальность происходящего.

    Сюжет пропитан едкой иронией по поводу происходящих событий, авторы фильма отнеслись сами и заставляют зрителя отнестись к истории про экзорцизм с определенной долей цинизма.

    Юмор, конечно, не обошелся без пошлости, но иногда было настолько смешно, что невозможно было сдержаться и не хохотать от души.

    Взять того же гея-экстрасенса, чувак просто рассмешил меня до слёз…

    Самыми ярыми поклонниками этой ленты станут, несомненно, те, кто только вступает в период половой зрелости, но и тем, кто хочет сбросить стресс и получить свою долю адреналина, я так думаю, тоже будет интересно посмотреть «Дом с паранормальными явлениями».

    Мне и моей компании очень понравился этот фильм.